Yesterday’s Soul


Edgar Allan Poe
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping.
The Raven.

One never thinks about how they will act when they see a love-one in trouble …I was sitting at my laptop catching up on things and hubby went down stairs to PC to wait for an important call from VA office……I am clicking away and phone rings I check to see what id says and see it is Va Office so I go back to work ….. I see the ID light go off and think…… Wow that was fast ……then a few minutes later the phone rings again …same # on id caller…think nothing other than they must have got cut off……he doesn’t answer ….it continues to ring …..I got to top of stairs and call for him …no answer….I get a sick feeling in my heart ..I run the rest of the way down the stairs ….I open door ….My heart drops he is push way back in the computer chair …he is jerking …his eyes rolled back …he is mumbling but no sound is coming fourth …his skin has is a strange coolness…I grab the phone but it is not letting me dial out …..I have to run back up the stair …screaming at top of my lungs that is not going to happen …this is not happening …..I am sure they could hear me in the universe….I dial the 911 # …I tell them where we are …..they transfer me to local area…. then the fun begins….Tell them I need an ambulance…she ask if I am sure…. if she says we will dispatch all ..what is your problem she says… I tell her I think my husband might be having either a heart attack or a stroke ….she wants to know if I was a doctor ..I say no …I am a wife Could she please send the ambulance she says she has a few more question …am I near the person ..I say no I am on a land upstairs …she says well take a cell phone and go down to the person and answer her question ..I draw in a deep breath and scream I DON’T HAVE A DAMN CELL PHONE PLEASE SEND THE DAMN AMBULANCE…..ok she says I am dialing them right now ….I lay the phone down and walk away to see if maybe my husband is still alive…..the EMTS need awards all around they asks the right questions and stay calm they take him to the hospital ..then another round of stupid starts …the young doctor appears after all the nurses have done all the blood work and stuff they do when you come in an ambulance ….when this snarky young doctor comes in ……he would ask a question but inject his comments before we could complete our answers …we aren’t sure what he wrote down….after the third action like this …..I got up and told my husband I would be out side waiting ….the doctor gave him a look…..I knew my husband was back at himself and could handle this doctor and if I stayed this doctors life was not a sure thing ….this young doctor says he doesn’t thin these are TIA( even though the last 12 times this hospital has said they were TIA’s) so Monday we start another round of the same old test at large cost and we never seem to get the results from said doctor…. but they can sure remember where and to whom to send the bills to…..
The photos below are of a raven but I had forgotten to reset the dials and the raven moved ….this first one is the confusion my heart was feeling as I began to descend the stairs to find my husband

This is how my whole soul felt when I saw him in the condition in the chairs

all out of sort and blue and feeling helpfulness

This one is how am feeling today still out of sorts but coming back to myself but not there yet …..

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